Welcoming a Child, Wiggles and All

Recently my four-year-old was telling someone all about her “new church.” My ears immediately perked up, because this past Sunday we went as a family to a new United Church in the city. Since becoming a Growth Animator and leaving my position as a congregational minister, we`ve been looking for a new spiritual home. The prospect of “church shopping” is daunting enough, but even more so when you have an energetic preschooler. Will the church welcome her spontaneous observations and questions? Will they have a story time for all ages or Sunday school? Will there be other children for her to play with? Does the bathroom have a potty seat? Let alone wondering how the overall welcome will be.

Well, on this Sunday, the welcome began before we even stepped foot in the door.

We drove into the parking lot and immediately saw a sign on what we thought was the front door, it directed us to the lower side entrance. Driving around the building, this entrance was clearly visible with signage and a ramp. We could see through the glass that folks were standing by the door, welcoming people as they came in. No guessing where to go.

After getting ourselves out of the car we walked past the long row of handicapped parking spaces that had pride of place by the door. Inside three women greeted us and one immediately asked if we were new. We introduced ourselves and they in turn shared their names, making sure we knew Sunday school was available. They then directed us upstairs to the sanctuary.

In the foyer leading into the sanctuary, we saw lots of Pride flags, as well as posters about kindness and diversity. People smiled and said hello, and the greeter at the sanctuary doors made a point of welcoming my child specifically. As we walked in, we noticed rows of café tables and chairs at the back behind the pews. I immediately thought that would be convenient for doing colouring sheets or other activities during worship and suggested we sit there, however my kid wanted to sit in the dreaded first pew.

Being new is always a bit awkward. Being new and sitting in the first row is the epitome of awkward. But that choice offered us a unique opportunity. During the welcome the celebrant made a point of telling my child that she was welcomed in this space, to dance, wiggle, run or move in response to the service. I have never before had someone tell my child that she is welcomed to move her body in whatever way works for her at church. It was also pointed out that there were colouring sheets at the back if she wanted to enjoy those. She promptly went with her dad to do so.

During the service there was an older child who came up on the stage to sit near the keyboardist. The celebrant acknowledged her by name as she did, affirming her right to be there. No one batted an eye when that same child rolled around on the stage floor quietly during the service. It was fine. It was normal. It was a child being a child.

The whole service the themes of hospitality and accessibility were uplifted again and again. Yet, they didn`t feel like lip service. For starters, specific examples were offered to the listeners, drawing that connection between action and intention. Even more powerful than that is the fact I had experienced these values in action for myself. The values the celebrant was declaring rang true for me.

Though I didn`t go to Sunday school I was told it was very fun, and my child had made a new friend. The two children continued playing together during the fellowship time in the hall afterwards. This was also a big hit with my child, as there were lots of treats, and not just coffee or tea. Highly prized juice boxes were available too! Even gluten free treats, which my child remarked her celiac friend would very much appreciate.

One of the congregants came to sit with us and chat, engaging my child in conversation. We were welcomed to come back again and told the church so appreciated having us worship with them. Later that day I received an email from that congregant (she already had it, don`t worry!) saying something similar and reaffirming that they would love to have our family with them anytime.

I want to go back next Sunday, and bring my child with me. As a spiritual person it felt good to worship with others through prayers and music. As a parent, I felt so delighted and relieved that my child had been welcomed too. I want church to be a good experience for her, but that has not always been the case. In a space designed for adults, children are so often considered a disruption or an after-thought. But she is a child of God, she, too, is a spiritual person. I don`t want her to feel silenced or isolated at church, I want her to feel God`s love in the presence of community. And, this Sunday, I think she did, or else I don’t think she would have been sharing the good news about her “new church.”

For all that community did to welcome us, and especially her, I want to say, “thank you.”

— Tori Mullin, Growth Animator for Eastern Ontario and Quebec.

Want to learn more about how your community of faith can better welcome children and families? Contact your regional Growth Animator at Growth@united-church.ca. 

The views contained within these blogs are personal and do not necessarily reflect those of The United Church of Canada.